Why haven’t I tried

To try and do the good that I could
——————
What would people think?
Or say?
———-
Don’t
You might fall sick
Just keep away
————
Do your duty
To your family
Things will be
Taken care of
There are so many other
Kind souls
————–
Yes
The problems
Will be resolved
Through prayer
God will act
————–
Why does that leave me
With an empty heart?
—————–
That little boy I could teach
But what if
I did fall sick
What would happen
To my children
————–
God will take care
Of that little boy
Someone else will
————
Why does it leave me
With an empty heart?
————
I’m a misfit I’m sure
People around me
Don’t feel
The way I do
———–
There are some
Who live a life
Of sacrifice
Living their life
For others
————-
When I see
The wealth
The intellect
God has provided
All I do
Is twiddle my thumbs
Out of fear
Of rehab
————
The price of
Sanity
Is very steep
Am I doing
The right Thing
Burying my talents?
————–
My answer is no
Because
Of
The discontent heart
————-
The day will come
When I’ll be free
I would help
The maids I think
They who slog
Without a break
————
No Saturdays off
Nor Sundays
Without them
Our life uncomfortable
————
They day they take
A break
We question them
Couldn’t they send
Another
To their cousin’s funeral
————-
Their husbands drink
They beat
They carry on
For their children
Bonus time
We buy them sweets
Or a saree
When all they need
Is the money
———–
I would like
To them empower
Give them skills
Making Xmas sweets
Snacks
Laddoos
Baby sitting
Nursing the old
Professional cleaning
At a decent wage
—————
A weekend off
Some insurance
Aren’t they also
Covered
By minimum wage
————–
By inflation
They’re hardest hit
But it’s we who complain
That money’s tight
We can’t give them
Another raise
———–
Many thoughts
But
All in the mind
————
Can’t express
Out of fear
Of rehab
————
My children now
They understand
My husband too
————-
But why still
There
The hesitation
The fear
Of rehab?
————-
I try to start
———–
Opposition
The stress
It will make you sick
You help I say
In the work
Take my stress
Make it yours
————
I may not be able
To do what I plan
But there may not be
Emptiness
In my heart
————
Till I think
Of something else